This is a quote (as far as I recall) from my high school geometry book.

"I hate spinach and I'm glad I hate it, because, if I liked it, I'd
eat it, and I hate the stuff."

Apparently the above is a modification of a quote of Clarence Darrow. Here is that quote and another of Darrow's quotables.

Here is an (apparently) correct version:

I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.

Another one from Clarence Darrow

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.


My Mother told me this when I was a child.

Scintillate, scintillate globule vivific, Fain would I fathom thy nature specific. Loftily poised on the ether capacious, Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous. - John Raymond Carson