Big whorls have little whorls that feed on their velocity, and little whorls have lesser whorls and so on to viscosity.
--L.F.Richardson

There are three kinds of people:

Those who can count and those who cannot

I wonder why.... We park on driveways, but drive on parkways......

"Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you

transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

"The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program"
--Larry Niven

I have a spilling checker, / It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue / Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it, / I'm sure your please too no,
Its letter perfect in it's weigh, / My checker tolled me sew.

A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts.

A man said to the universe,
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
--Stephen Crane

Science is a collection of successful recipes. - Paul Valery
Nonsense. _Engineering_ is a collection of successful recipes.
Science is a bunch of kids playing in the kitchen and making a mess.
--Stephen Crane

He who lives in a glass house should not invite he who is without sin.

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

-- Lily Tomlin

A train station is a station where a train stops, but what the hell is a workstation?

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

One of the unkindest things about the Universe is that more often than not the bullet doesn't have _your_ name on it; it likes to mass produce ones with "to whom it may concern".

If the government wants us to respect the law it should set a better example

"in theory, practice and theory are the same; but in practice, they're not ! "

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

-- Bertrand Russell

"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."

-- Christopher Morley

Down here the past is not dead - it's not even the past.

--Robert Macklin

"We're put here on earth to help others. I'm not sure what the others are put here for."

-- W. H. Auden

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

--Paul Rodriguez

My greatest fear: that future generations will, for some reason, refer to me as an "optimist."

'climbing a mountain of shit to find the one perfect rose at the summit, only to get there and discover that you've lost your sense of smell.'

"Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel."

Having a positive attitude won't solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth your while.

"I think not," said Descartes, and disappeared.

Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

-- Gore Vidal

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

An organism is not adapted to its environment. It is adapted to the environment of its ancestors.

--Begon, Harper & Townsend.

"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."

-- Mark Twain

"Most people are too pragmatic to think."

First Law of Anthropology:
If they're doing something you  don't understand, it's either an isolated lunatic, a religious ritual, or art.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Jesus did _not_ die for my sins. I do not accept unsolicited service or merchandise. To me, Jesus is God's own squeegee guy, grunging up my windshield and assuming I owe him for the favor

And other than that how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?